What the **** am I doing?!

I am at the airport, waiting for my flight to San Diego to begin this absurd adventure I've chosen to do. I want to cry, laugh, and cheer for joy all at the same time. There's a lot of sadness and fear in me but also a lot of anticipation and optimism. Thank goodness there is a lot less stress than the last few days.

It's been a whirlwind of a week. I feel like I worked nonstop to get everything ready to go (storing my belongings, buying snacks and packing food boxes, putting together my first aid kid and toiletries, testing gear, finishing my taxes, preparing my car for storage, etc., etc.) and still didn't finish until 10:30pm last night. But heck, it always goes that way. I don't think I've ever finished packing for a trip more than a few hours before I have to. And you know, I wouldn't trade the incredible dinner at Tilth, walk with Leslie (my sister) and the kids, or one last breakfast with friends for a few more hours at home. I spent awesome time with family and friends this week and in the last couple of months that probably delayed or negated some preparation, but I wouldn't trade any of it. Backcountry skiing, backpacking, hot springing, lady friend dinners, drumming, watching the Price is Right (okay, that was mostly by myself), backgammon, birthday parties, shuffleboard, wine tasting.... I've gotten to do lots of great stuff since I decided to hike the trail, and it may be that I appreciated it all more than usual because I knew it would soon be suspended for 5 months.

--resupply box prep--

--dinner at Tilth--

Which brings me to the sadness. It's really hard to leave the people I love and who have shown me so much love. But maybe it's not so much sadness at what I will miss this summer that makes me cry - I've left for longer periods of time, certainly - but an appreciation for the love and support of everyone in my life. It's a beautiful thing!

Here are the physical items that have been provided to me free of charge from those supportive people:
Tent - Aunt Amy
Sleeping bag - Mom
Sleeping bag liner - Garik
Balaclava - Garik
Socks - Randi and Jon
Watch - Brother-in-law Nick
Plant Mom tattoo on backpack - Kelly
Bear canister - Rick
Prep books - Rick
Money for gear - Leslie
REI gift card - Lynnie
REI dividend money - Garik
Bandana - Dad
Written copy of the Invocation for the Removal of Disasters - Rev. Clairissa and Rev. Meido
Reflectix - Joel
Hiking poles - Aunt Amy
Pack - Mom, Dad, and Leslie

Not to mention, of course, so much encouragement from so many people. Being someone who self-doubts and second-guesses, hearing from those who know and care about me that yes, this is the right thing to do and yes, you can do this is really helpful. Thank you!!!

So, here I go! The plane is about to take off and there's no turning back now, despite my longing for a soft bed and hot bath, instant hot water, and smiling friends. I really am super excited to get going and take my first steps on this huge journey. I once thought biking around New Zealand was my greatest adventure, but I'm about to set a new personal record. "Hike your own hike," it's said. Sometimes I feel like this shouldn't be that big of a deal because thousands of people do it each year, but for me, it sure is. Ahhh!